Today’s Anything

Earlier today I was searching for who said “if you really want to do it, you’ll make time. If you don’t want to do it, you’ll make excuses.” The quote is from Jim Rohn. The Google search lead me to Positively Positive. (Strange, but I just did the exact search to ensure I had the spelling of his name correct, and Positively Positive does not even appear on the first or second page of the search.) Anyway …

When I saw that quote this morning, it made me wonder if I am moving in the “making excuses” direction with this blog. I seem to be less and less engaged in it in recent weeks … and I have only been writing it since last November. I want to keep moving forward with it but am not confident in what I am writing. So, I miss a day and then two and then force myself to write something … anything …

So, here is my “anything” for today … I’m having a bad day. I am tired of my own company. I know that I need to take that step to get outside of the house, and away from this computer, and the beads, and the cats, and the other crutches I use. But, damn that step is hard to take! I want to take it, really I do. But I am so tired of taking steps on my own all of the time. I’m tired of being the only one who cares if the house is cleaned or not. Or how the house foundation is going to get fixed and how much it is going to cost. Or having to take the trash can out AND bring it in.

It’s not that I want a partner. I don’t. I’m too set in my ways to even have the desire to want to learn to live with someone else again. The last time ended badly and painfully. I just want someone to help me make decisions. To take some of this crap off of my shoulders for a little while. To let me know that the decisions I make are the correct ones.

I’m just having a bad day.

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